The Seatbelt Sign Is Now Turned Off

I think this blog is long overdue. As some of you may know I had an… eventful week. For everyone who sent me messages and texts and emails, thank you. And to those same people, I’m also very sorry! There’s a good chance I didn’t reply to you and I feel awful, but it’s been a tad hellish and I’ve fallen horribly behind on everything…

To catch everyone up on my week:

Sunday – Okay. Went to work. It was really busy, but good. I met a lot of nice people and got to people watch and explore a bit, so it was overall an okay kind of day.

Monday – Slightly less okay. I was homesick. I was off work that day, and it was uneventful, but I think left me with too much time to think!

TuesdayDay.From.Hell. I mean, seriously. The day that wouldn’t end. I woke up in the morning and was feeling a bit off, and a bit panicked. Nothing too unusual about that. By the time I got showered and dressed and out the door I was at a moderate level of panic. And by the time I got the bus I was starting to lose it. I was on my way to work and just kept trying to breathe through it. It was working, for awhile. I sat on the tube for half an hour with my eyes closed just trying to stay calm. And then I stepped out at South Kensington and in to the museum and was surround by thousands of people. Still holding it in though! Not well, but enough! I got to the employee area and my manager, who I have now learned is an expert at detecting panic attacks, immediately approached me to see if I was okay. Very quickly I was not.

First Aid is called, and I’m sent home. So, after taking an hour of so to get myself together I get back on the train. Only, it turns out I hadn’t actually calmed down all that much. The panic attack hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m on the Picaddilly line, unable to breathe, surrounded my people, my face gets hot, and the bleeding from the face starts. Heavy and everywhere. The rest is a bit of blur. I collapsed, was pulled of the train, and taken away from the platform. There were a lot of TFL employees, still blood flowing everywhere, and then paramedics, an ambulance, and a hospital.

Not the best day. And to top it all off, when I was discharged from the hospital, I had no idea where I was or how to get home. Plus, when I got on a bus I was deducted almost all of my Oyster credit for not touching out when the paramedics came and got me from the station. Awesome!

So, 4 buses and a train later, I made it home. At which point I decided I wanted nothing more than to go home home.

Wednesday – At the insistence of a friend I decided to go in to Mind UK. Well, attempted to. I got on the bus, only to have it stop halfway there, declare it was now out of service, kick us all off, and drive away. Not having enough credit to catch another bus there, and who-knows-how-many-more back, I went home. There was also some parental drama that I won’t get in to. But, it wasn’t fun either.

Thursday – I took a mental health day. Watched about a million episodes of Community and went for a nice, long, leisurely walk, and took a lot of pictures. I decided to give London another shot and not head home quite yet.

Friday – I moved. Again?! Yes, yes, I know. I’ve moved out of Sally’s house for the second time, but this new arrangement seems much more ideal than the previous one. The room is bigger, the rent is cheaper, and I’m about 5 steps away from Sally and Karen.

Saturday – Today was nice. Karen and I moved some furniture, which was quite the adventure! I did some unpacking, met a lot of the people around the neighbourhood, had a lovely dinner with Sally and Michelle, and joined in on some Guy Fawkes Day celebrations.

And tomorrow, I’m back to work! The job is great when I’m not having a panic-ridden day. It’s busy, the day goes by fast, and there’s lot of interesting people. It’s a fantastic place to people-watch. I tend to get there early, so there’s always some time to sit and listen.

Anyway. It’s late, and I’m tired. I decided to write because I couldn’t get to sleep with all the fireworks going off, but they seem to have stopped. Fingers crossed!

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