After my last post it felt like getting myself to go back into work would be impossible. But, I did it, and it’s been fine. Rationally I knew that’s what would happen, but anxiety and rational thought don’t quite fit together.
That once incident aside, I’ve been feeling unusually optimistic these past few months. So, a few days following said incident I decided it could act as an excellent motivator for me to step up my application game. Now, I’m trying to be realistic in knowing that (a) finding gainful employment is like finding a needle in a haystack right now, and (b) I might not be ready to take on such employment quite yet. But neither of those are reasons not to try.
I’m also not allowing them to be reasons to be miserable.
In six months I turn 29, and even if I’m not working where I want to be working by that time, I want to feel a sense of contentedness with my life. I want to feel fulfilled, do things I’ve never done, take risks, get in shape, spend more time with the people I love, in the cities I love.
The past few years have been rough health-wise, which in turn made work, school, relationships, and just about everything else rough too. But lately my health has been good, I’ve had a bit of an income coming in, and I’ve been working on slowly mending the many relationships that have broken in the second-half of my twenties.
The next six months are going to be good. I’m going to make sure of it.