Mediocrity

I’ve had a couple of interviews lately for local summer jobs, all with the same feedback: “You’re overqualified and we worry you’ll leave mid-summer if a career opportunity arises.” For some of these I simply submitted a resume with no education or internship experience listed (as I’ve learned I need to do that to get an interview), but it was all for not because the latest interviewer looked me up on LinkedIn.

I’m starting to feel so disheartened.

I’ve applied to hundreds and hundreds of jobs in the last six months, and it seems I’m either overqualified or under-qualified for just about everything. Local jobs see me as a flight risk, jobs in my intended field see me as inexperienced. Or at least I assume- I’ve yet to even manage an interview in the latter! Who knows- Maybe it’s mixed in with something else? Is there something off-putting about my resume? I change it up quite drastically every few months now, assuming the existing is ineffective. Have I lost sight of something? Or I am simply just too mediocre to be a desirable asset to any company out there?

I know finding your first proper job takes time, but I’m not sure how much longer I can manage without an income. The stress of scrapping together $500 for the first of every month just to cover my student loan repayments is painstaking. I’ve become the epitome of cheap, no longer spending money. I barter comms work for toiletries, shoes, and birthday presents for my godchildren. I don’t leave the house much, because staying in = not spending money. I meticulously budget the use giftcards from Christmas. And then I rack up credit card debt to pay for monthly prescriptions, because it’s the only option.

Something will come along (I have to keep telling myself that). I’m grateful that at least for time being I have a roof over my head, and food on my table (thanks, mom). I’m grateful that I’ve been able to spend this off time working to get my health in order. I’m grateful for those family and friends who haven’t given up on me yet, in spite of my often downer mood and poor attitude (I’m sorry about that, by the way).

There’s opportunity on the horizon, I hope.

ranbowNiagara Falls, Feb 28th 2015

 

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