I’ve been at my new job for a week now. The actual work is pretty mundane, but the people are nice and the backdrop is gorgeous, so it’s been pretty good. Plus, getting out into the world on a regular basis has helped ease that rut I was in (who knew? /sarcasm). Unfortunately being able to leave the update there just isn’t my brand of luck.
I mentioned a couple of months ago that I was getting sick, but was so happy when I somehow managed to have a positive turn around in August. That laceration in my gut, which has been the bane of my existence since around February, was finally starting to heal on it’s own. Thank Thor! Sadly, after a month problem-free, it tore open again this past weekend and is bleeding more than ever before.
I’m not sure if the tearing is work-related, coincidental, or what. Regardless, it hurts and is making me feel terrible. And on top of that I’ve now gotten myself completely stressed out worrying about it. I ended up having a panic attack at work today, which aside from being beyond embarrassing, makes me look completely incompetent. It’s not easy to explain to someone who’s not familiar with anxiety that an attack isn’t necessarily related to what’s happening in the moment. The job is not stressful or anxiety-inducing, which I tried to say today, but ever since that incident at the Natural History Museum I’m paranoid. And that isn’t helping the stress either.
I have an appointment with the gastrointestinal surgeon in 2 weeks, so fingers crossed for some good news there. I’m not thrilled at the prospect of surgery, but it definitely beats the alternative.
For the moment I just need to focus on not freaking out about going to work tomorrow because I’m mortified about what happened today.
Beer me strength…
Abandoned tram system in the woods at work