Do you ever get so fed up with the state of the world that all you can think to do is crawl back into bed at 11am and sleep because that’s so much easier than having to think about any of it?
No? Just me.
As you can probably guess I’ve had a wildly unproductive holiday Monday, not improved by deciding to watch The Normal Heart when I finally emerged from the covers at 7pm. A phenomenal film with an important message that everyone should watch, but you will go away feeling like you’ve been swiftly kicked in the face.
Anyway, the result is that I’m now laying here feeling fed up, weepy, and ruminative.
We pride ourselves on being a society that promotes equality, that supports freedoms, that allows everyone to speak their minds. But is this true, really? Gender, sexuality, race, politics, religion, all of these things work in determining where one truly stands. And within each of these things exists a complex hierarchy of so-call legitimacy wherein status is further heightened or hindered.
Of course, much of this “standing” is determined by the onlooker. I can pride myself of living by own moral compass, but the truth remains that my decided morality makes me hated by a significant portion of the people on this planet. I believe in widespread equality; I support democratic socialism; I scrutinize religion; I am pro-choice; I am anti-guns; I despise two-party politics; etc, etc, etc. All of these things that I believe to be “right” are things that others believe to be “wrong”. And I think it’s the reason that the world will continue the unending downward spiral that has existed since the dawn of humanity.
People will argue that things are getting better, and I will acquiesce that in some respects they are. But I don’t believe that’s nearly enough. For instance, as a women, yes, I now have the right to vote in Canada, to own land, to divorce a partner of my own will. But you know what I don’t have? I don’t have equal pay for equal work. I don’t have the legal security of knowing that if I’m sexually assaulted I won’t be blamed for it. I don’t have the same opportunities as a man in the workplace if I choose to have a family. I don’t have reproductive rights in some of the world. In fact, I don’t have any rights in some of the world.
And do you know what the worst part for me in this whole reflection is? The fact that my own inability to speak openly and honestly about the things that anger and frustrate and upset me is not diminishing. That for whatever reason, be it fear or shame or guilt, I can’t say the things I want most to.
So, as I always do, I will leave it here with banal commentaries and vague half-truths.
And, of course, a random photo: